I'm in Prison/Save Me

I'm in prison an easy and simple enough concept to get right? but naw it's not that simple, that's the problem with how we go about life, thinking everything is black and white and then we get so outraged surprised and baffled by the turn of events within these seemingly plain as day situations but that lack of assertiveness when it comes to the happenings of life, is the very thing that instigates the boiling over that ensues when the cooking is not paid attention to but what are we cooking, what meal is society preparing with the ingredients of discrimination, injustice, classism, and mass incarceration amongst others, that we react to apathetically and allow to get out of hand, acting as if it doesn't directly happen to you and yours then it has no baring and weight on you, ignorantly we believe it can't affect us and we take that same belief and energy out into all causes, preferring to only inform ourselves and put care into causes close to our heart and understanding never mind the fact that prisons are largely filled with the poor and desperate that we criminalize despite their lack of education resources and opportunities, where as the more financially fortuned get the equivalent of hands slaps but they aren't looked at any different in comparison so how much can get done if there is even so much split between our legal institutions and organisations that ultimately seek the same things at their core, which is the fair treatment and acknowledgement of our humanity, that which separates us from animals so when we hear about black lives matter, times up, me too, equal pay, gender equality, feminism, etc we rather form an opinion instead of inform our opinions so here's the reality, I'm in prison I'm expected to find some kind of remorse and resolution within myself, a revelation of who I am, a responsibility to what I did, and idealize a future to where I won't recidivise upon my release, but what is the motivating factor, how does it hit me, where do I find it? because realistically I get the most thinking time inside of a bathroom, a bathroom I live in, a bathroom I dream and sleep in, a bathroom that I write and call my son and loved ones in, a bathroom that I learn and read in, a bathroom that I try to ignore the sounds and smells of piss gas and bowels that arent solely mine this bathroom u call a prison cell why not question my sanity for being able to live and excel through this kind of exposure that isn't humane by any stretch of the imagination and if it is humane, at what point did mankind structure a paradigm that can form a limit to the kind of treatment given to any human, with a step beyond or a step behind being the only call and cause for action or inaction? go to your bathroom, try to live a day in it, and tell me how it feels, what you see and think, the smells, what does it sound like, can you ignore it and still prosper? or is your main focus just biding your time until you can get to the other side? sounds like prison huh?.. I remember that scene in the movie the pursuit of happiness where will smith had to fake an adventure game with his son because they had no where to go, in order to keep his son from realizing they were sleeping in a subway bathroom, and then someone tried to come in and as he reached his leg out-which symbolized the line between reality and lies-to keep them from entering and discovering his truth, all the while keeping his composure so his son would stay sleep to the truth as tears began to fall down his face, the strength it took given the blows to his dignity and pride as a man and father this same symbolism of ignorance being bliss and society still being parented to stay sleep to the hard truths of reality so that the lies can run the asylum this is what I face, its not if I make it out of this bathroom, its when I make it out this bathroom who will you be to limit me, telling me what I can and can't do, I've been metaphorically put in the right place to be so pissed off, but in this bathroom I had an epiphany like the greatest ideas happen on the toilet right.. I've been dealing and putting up with the shit of others for too long, accepting what you told me I was, and it landed me right where I belonged, since I had somehow become a toilet for the world, but now its time for me to relieve myself and find freedom in real air and realize my resolve and resilience, and no one is going to come into my space, impeding my progress and pursuit as I drain my worries down the toilet though I found my freedom in prison, unlike you my freedom won't be imprisoned you may have heard of prison, but your lack of ability to inform your opinions has kept you from knowing bout prison bout this bathroom cuz then you'd wonder, since when did expectations get so high coming out a bathroom anyway? --

"save me"

god please save me I'm not free and these chains that hang from me are hanging me and have me weak and dangerously thru each week I still sink lord, I can't swim I'm, on the brink and, I can't blink cuz, I'll just think of, what I missed lord, I can't miss much cuz, I may lose more of what I love most and all I love goes but that's how love goes it sounds so hollow my past won't go now I believe in ghost better your holy ghost lord, hold me close fill me with no ego and if the ceiling goes will I be closer to you? or am I still grounded? I can't come up, as if I'm drowning lift this cup up down these downers til I'm where the ground is the start of each mountain where you found us where flesh was founded rose from earth right? made from dirt right? raised in hurt life til I'm raised from hurt life you gave us hurt, right? cuz where you at, it don't hurt, right? you are that first light but I live in darkness it feels regardless if im godly or if I'm godless there'll still be problems I'll still have problems be my rock when I hit rock bottom help me see you even when I'm angry cuz that's what chains restrains and hangs me lord, save me