Walking...I just want to walk, feeling the vibrations of my every step onto earth, observing nature going on despite my intrusions, feeling the breeze whispering secrets in my ears, the elements dancing on my skin, inhaling the fragrant air, just a stroll, with no interruptions that block my progress or force me to turn around, limiting my explorations. I want to walk and interact with life limitlessly, my best friend was driving and saw a forest as we spoke and decided to stop and take a hike and on that hike, she found a vastly rooted lone tree that reminded her of me that she took a picture of. The storied comparisons in that tree spoke to her, and she narrated that story, inspired by nature. See nature speaks to us all, but these walls quiet those voices, I just want to hear them again and listen more this time. Even to be able to travel, I've barely seen life, and mostly I have imagined it all within pictures, one of my bucket-dreams is to take hikes up mountains and inside of forests, or drive across country seeing all the different landmarks, architecture, and cultures, possibly even fly just to see how vast this world is, how we can be so connected and yet so far apart, I've never been in a plane before but I'm in prison next to an airfield and I've seen all types, even multicolored planes and I just go imagination crazy, like what do the see, where are the headed, wondering of all the freedom right above all my captivity...oh and train rides, I want that too, if they still do them,1st class preferably with grapes skittles and wine-Dapper Destinations! but I just want to be able to observe and connect with life outside of a TV or picture, to be able to travel and see so many dreams concocted by so many different people that came to life, and to find myself inside the be architecture of all-Nature! Is it really taboo and dangerous to fly a kite during lightening? Never flew one...Has anyone ever stopped and watched the world rain around them while under an umbrella? Just the illusion that that creates is beautiful, its like you're inside out, you're in the thick of it but its happening all around you, not to you, and you are for that moment, impervious to its effect...you're walking around with your own personal shelter so to speak, designed to protect you, keeping you in and everything out...but isn't that how life is? We get into our own personal zones of comfort and protection, expecting the world to acquiesce to us at those moments, communicating so close yet so disconnected, inside of a whole yet oblivious to the parts and its functions..like do you every find yourself thinking...What am I or are we even talking about? Why did I do that? Why do I even think like this? am I that different or are they just that careless and dumb? freaking umbrellas! Someone it becomes a phenomenon to expose ourselves to the rain. Like it is so romantic, daring, rebellious, audacious, wild, unconventional, and cinematic...its just water! But there it is, water that can't stain you but put a damper on what it is that you use to communicate who you are, how you feel, and how you value yourself...aka clothes, or our fabric disguises. We become so thin and thin skin that we rather just embrace life at an arm's length, and voyeurism is the new hug, and exhibitionism is the new curiosity, stepping outside of your comfort to view other pleasures outside of yourself that may still stimulate some type of happiness that we can't quite maintain as much as we need too. When has being happy become an event or surprise, somehow its so far contrasted from our normal states of being, as if people don't feel unless they can speak about how what they feel hurts. People want to cry, grieve, and mourn together bto create lasting memories of bonds that blossomed from hard times just as much as they want selfies and groupies of moments they wish could last longer than that click! Well I'm tired of accepting pain, I want to live daily like a selfie or groupie lol, that sounds funny in retrospect, I want to stop feeling so inside out and just feel and embrace and experience and connect...im tired of feeling distant, I want to be present and contemplate everything I perceive instead of glancing at life! I want to be thicker than my fabric...I don't know the answer to how to do all these things besides to just live and quit "just trying" to live. Maybe it can all start with just taking a hike, taking a flight, or flying a kite in every capacity of its positive connotations, not the negatively sounding idioms or sayings, that are used to dismiss people by saying that. I wonder if being a prison philosopher is a paradox, after all philosophy is just questioning what is, as if there is more, I mean that its not popular thought to view prisoners as thinkers, but then again, free people don't think and question enough, maybe that quality is what keeps too many in their own self imposed prisons...maybe we aren't so different, just like the plane fight, we're all so connected yet so far apart...your experience is my own, and my own experience isn't yours...but we all experience, life should be spent more trying to experience and not straying away from experience. So, take a hike take a flight, or fly a kite..or maybe we should draft, more than we drift? I heard this quote from a movie that said, I think it was James Bond "you're just a kite caught inside a hurricane..." story of my life...story of life...sometimes life seems to big for me, right? But then I remember, what is life...without me? Maybe Life, should experience me... So hears to being Larger Than Life! YoungR.U.S.S! WayOfLife!
RUSSELL
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