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RUSSELL

Tomorrow, yesterday

Too many have had her too many have her he'll never have her all to himself but he is much closer to her, than I it's okay though I'm not jealous I'm actually more of a fan cheering him on, hoping he has a chance I know it's more probable than not though he's nervous fearful that he may not be enough that she may look past him that she may hold grudges from past experiences although I want her so bad- I reassure him reinforcing that he's a catch, how could she pass on him naturally he's worried, he shouldn't be I covet her but not at his expense I've made peace with it not being my time and she doesn't do long distance but she'll always be around so I take pride in encouraging others in their quest for her feeling as if, I get pieces of her through each of them yea, when she chooses, I get a little lonelier, self conscious, and skeptical but I find happiness in their happiness and hope, in their bond have you ever wanted something so bad, but somehow you had to gracefully give it up for the greater good of someone else, not stealing their glory by your selfishness, feigning just as much happiness in them having it as if you have it yourself, sacrificing, believing it'll all work out, having to learn tolerance and patience at the same time, because honestly you just weren't ready for it or you couldn't get to it if you tried? I have that feeling every time someone sees the parole board and goes home every time it's a punch of reality reminding me of where I'm at but the void in their presence also reminds me that there's still somewhere to go, and something more to get to "I see it's heavy on your head, bro, let it go, you good, you gone tomorrow, real talk, just relax, tomorrow will be yesterday soon enough"

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